Getting Started with Therapy: A Guide for First-Timers
So, you’re thinking about starting therapy!
Whether you've been considering it for awhile, had a moment where you felt “now it’s time”, or are just curious in general, welcome!
Starting therapy can feel intimidating, or honestly, just awkward at first.
Here’s a gentle guide to help you take that first step.
1. It’s okay to not know what you’re doing
You don’t need to why you’re reaching out and you’re not expected to come with a list of issues you want to explore. Many people begin therapy unsure of how to describe what is happening in their life. It’s takes strength to ask for help.
You might just know that something’s off, or maybe you’re just hopeful to try anything at this point. That’s enough.
2. Finding the right therapist is like dating
Meeting anyone new for the first time is such a wild card. That’s especially true when it’s someone you’re meant to trust openly.
Connection matters. Research shows that the relationship between you and your therapist is typically the biggest indicator of success.
Please ask questions, and please don’t be encouraged if it takes time to find a good match. What might be a good might can also change with time or situation. You’re welcome to shop around, or to request a consultation first. And no hard feelings if you ever change your mind.
3. You don’t have to share everything right away
Therapy isn’t a spotlight, it’s more like a dimmer switch. You might want to start small, or you might want to jump in right away. A good therapist will create a setting where you feel comfortable and safe to “adjust the light” as you work together.
4. Therapy can be uncomfortable (and should be at times)
You might feel nervous before sessions, awkward during, or unsure after. All of that is normal. Therapy can bring up new emotions, unexpected insights, or old wounds. The process isn’t always comfortable. There’s the discomfort zone, then there’s danger zone. The goal is not to push you into danger, but slowly expand from your comfort zone. When we leave this window, we invite change.
5. Consistency not perfection
You don’t need to “do therapy right.” Also, just because you’re in therapy now doesn’t mean you have to keep improving your life, and anything else is failure.
Think of the last month of meals you ate. Was each meal 10 out 10 amazing? Do you remember every meal? Probably not. (Props to you if you do!)
What matters is the small steps, like noticing patterns and practicing new skills. Progress is often quiet oor slow until we notice it one day. When imperfect moments come up, say okay, and move on. They don’t take away from the moments you’re proud of.
7. You deserve to feel supported
You deserve support that honours your identity, your experiences, your values, and your loved ones. Again, no hard feelings if you find out a therapist isn’t a fit, or therapy in general. There’s so many forms of care and the goal is just for you to have support. I’m always happy to help connect you to other options. Even if time has passed, my door is always open.
Sometimes therapy it’s learning how to breathe a little deeper, feel a little more understood, or speak to yourself more kindly. Other times it’s changing careers, or trying to heal the relationships in your life.
i invite you to give it a try! One conversation at a time.